Did you check your fluff, makeup, hair, color coordination, outfit theme, and actual possibility of being allowed to wear all your items together without breaking the rules today? Well, if you did not, there are a plethora of options online and off to find out why you are wrong, how you cannot fix it, and your perpetual never-ending sadness because of your inability to be appeasing to the eye. Congratulations!
I could go on about feeling good about yourself and not minding the “haters”, but I think there is more to it than that. One thing I have learned from seeing street snaps is that rules are for suckers. Sticking to rules in terms of fashion is like baking a cake according to the box’s instructions every. single. time. Yes, you will make a cake that looks and taste like every other cake out there. Everyone will appreciate that you made a cake, and that the cake fits to the standards of baking a cake. But breaking outside of those small font, cardboard printed instructions can either make a heaping mess of burnt glop forever to be known as the moment you realized pickles do not work with butter cream, or create the next thing everyone is adding to their Pinterest board going, “Why could I have not thought of that?”
I think that heaping mess is something everyone goes through continually. You have this idea in your head of how it is going to work, and putting the items together just does not look as dreamy as it did in your mental process. Time offers the benefit of hopefully learning from each mess, and gradually creating a better and better recipe. You learn what ingredients work well together and sometimes, that mess actually creates a combination you never thought would work.
(We need to stop talking about food before I go make a cake right now.)
I believe we should embrace the fact that fashion inherently is a selfish thing. It explains a lot. One of the typical things I see nowadays is the sheep leading the sheep concept. One person with barely any experience telling another person how their limited experience makes them an “expert” on the rules and regulations associated with the look they are trying to accomplish. Another aspect of it is the strong, repulsive reaction garnered by some people when someone breaks their definition of the ideal look. You need to critique and you need to express that disgust because this is your style being represented in a way you do not think is correct. Alternative fashion, because it is by definition “alternative to the societal norm”, can be owned, something that we need to constantly defend because it is so misconstrued from its original intent. So, you form the idea of what is “right”, and then you find that “right” being destroyed by someone who clearly “does not get it”.
A friend of mine has expressed multiple times how she cannot stand the excess of labeling in alternative fashion. I did not see it as a problem before, but now, I agree. I get having a standard of certain terms, “This is the average summation of how a Lolita fashion coordinate looks like.” This helps meet like-minded individuals, gives a brand a sense of direction of their consumers’ likes and dislikes in an outfit, and puts a name to that thing that is so off kilter from what we expect to see when we walk down the street.
But to completely dismiss an outfit because it does not fit the mold loses me. Like I said before, it is the ones that break the mold that make the statement.
As long as you are happy with what you are wearing, then you are doing it right. Do not try to put a name on it, do not force down people’s throats that this is the “right” way of doing things, and do not flounce your arrogance about how much you perfected your outfit. You can completely avoid dealing with “haters” if you just avoid those three things. Post your coordinates and love what you are creating, but let people enjoy (or dislike) them for what they are. Everyone else that wears the average outfit will think you are crazy looking anyways. Seriously. They think you are insane (or in a play, or going to a funeral, for the goths out there).
Unless you are wearing your outfits specifically to attract attention – I do not have a blog post for you because I do not understand your mindset. 😉